Stop Lying and Admit You Aren’t Special

Waking up this morning, I realized that I have no idea where I have been for the past few weeks. Apparently, I was in some sort of work-vortex, not allowing me to comment on any goings on of the real world. Luck for all of us, I am back and back with a vengeance.

            Watching the eclipse the other night, I caught myself reflecting on experience. What does it mean to have experience? I have been a teacher for hundreds of days, so do I have experience? I stepped foot in Africa for a day, so do I have African experience? I feel the answer to both of these questions are no, but if I was interested in a future in politics (which I am) I would twist and turn events more than Larry Craig after a visit to a public restroom in Minnesota. Amazingly, we are all guilty of these lies. Most of us call it resume padding and are proud of our ability to do it, but in politics we scorn people for doing it. Recently, Hillary Clinton has been unfairly picked up for “lying” about her record. Therefore, pirate extraordinaire Scott E. Jay did some research and is hear to clear the air. I present the following match-up, based on experience which most suits the campaign Hillary has run thus far.

That’s right ya’ll. I am comparing two first ladies, and seeing which one would make a better president. Some of you may think this is unfair, mean spirited, and downright degrading to first ladies, and I would love to say I am sorry in advance, but why lie :-P

First off we have the heavy weight favorite. A graduate from Yale law, Hillary Clinton is known as a strong woman, capable of overcoming personal issues, creating a well rounded woman.  Hillary was Arkansas’s First Lady for 12 years, helping with such issues as family building, public service, and law. She also co-founded the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families. She served on the board of such organizations as Arkansas Children's Hospital, Legal Services, and the Children's Defense Fund and Wal-Mart*.  Later, as First Lady of America, she was the main advocate for expanding health insurance coverage; ensuring children get properly immunized and raised public awareness on health issues and vulgar lyrics on television and on CD’s. She was always in the public eye, hated by Republicans for her involvement in Bill’s Presidency and loved for her stance on women and children’s rights worldwide. She later wrote a book, called It Takes a Village and Other Lessons Children Teach Us, becoming a best selling author and a Grammy Award winner for her recording of it. Overall, she has made a huge impact on women, demonstrating a skill as a First lady unheard of during her time
*Though at a later date…

            Battling this award winning, life-long politician, is the “long shot” candidate, Laura Bush. Laura Bush is an ex-public school teacher who knows that we are only as good as our education system. She “believes it is important for us to love our children, teach them to love knowledge and disdain ignorance, supporting the men and women who devote their careers to educating our children”.  Laura Bush supports training former military personnel for teaching positions to help meet the need for teachers here in America. Through her system, she has helped more than 5,000 ex-soldiers teach more than 500,000 of America’s youth.  After her husband’s inability to admit defeat with Hurricane Katrina, Laura Bush has helped fund and build over 1,000 public school libraries in hurricane devastated areas. She has also supported an increase in funding No Child Left Behind, raising literacy rate worldwide, and fighting disease and intolerance among the youth of the world. While she has not recorded an album, she has made numerous public appearances without her husband, speaking against issues like war, torture and cutting federal programs. She has stood up to a man that some say is the worst dictator in American History and stuck to her guns, making her a strong willed woman.

            As you can see, arguing between Hillary and Laura is pointless. Both were First Ladies, both were involved in their husbands presidency, and both ant women and children to have more of a say in the world. Both are strong willed, smart, and married to complete a-holes. If anything, the similarities are stunning. However, stunning similarities don’t make you a candidate for becoming a president. Being a First Lady doesn’t either. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a woman president, but to claim experience because you happened to be married to the leader of the free world is just ridiculous. Maybe I am naïve in how the world works, but Hillary just doesn’t seem so special if you “check” the “facts” from the internet. Sure, I am biased because I like Obama more than Hillary. Sure, don’t trust anyone who once sat on Wal-Mart’s board. Sure, I don’t trust someone who claims to be for the middle class after a decade earlier made a ton of money off of a real estate scam that rivaled the savings and loan scandal. Sadly, it must be, as Hillary told me when she came to Tacoma, that I am a sexist and do not want women to get equality. That’s right, now make me some pie…

Scott E. Jay- back and ready for blood